#TBT To The Time I Publicly Checked Out My Coworker's Ass

I can’t believe the college football season is almost over. It’s a travesty. I don’t know if it’s because I’m getting old, but time flies faster and faster every year. It stinks. The 2019 season felt like a night in an Italian Restaurant bathroom with Rick Pitino. But at least we still have the showdown between LSU and Clemson coming up.

I bitched and moaned about the title game being two+ weeks apart from the CFP semis, but now I’m thankful. It gives us an extra week to hold on to the best sport on the planet before we gear up to head to the Super Bowl. But I’m not writing this blog to preview the National Championship. We will have a Barstool CFB Show preview and a special episode of Unnecessary Roughness for that.

I’m writing this to pay homage to the (first) time I sexually harassed a coworker.

Exactly one year ago today (give or take a day… I needed it to be on a Thursday for #TBT),  I was getting roasted from all angles because I was the only one who thought Alabama would cover against Clemson. It was absolutely brutal to sit between Dave and Dan all night with thousands of people watching. And during the dumpster fire of said live stream, I slipped up and stared at Big Cat’s ass.

I was clearly desperate for something to take my attention off of the absolute shellacking Alabama (and my money) was taking. And who can blame me? Dan definitely didn’t. I mean have you guys seen Jumpsuit January?!?

You’re lying to yourself if you wouldn’t do the same thing in my position. ESPECIALLY if you do it respectfully. Everybody knows strip club etiquette. Look, don’t touch. I follow rules.

Honestly even 365 (-ish) days later, I still have no idea how I so blatantly checked out my co-host’s ass without thinking the entire world would see it. You can’t do shit around with here without being put on blast. I should’ve known better. But hey, if the perception is that we sexually harass here at Barstool and if perception is reality, I might as well carry that torch for all of us. I’m a team player.

Side note: Whoever in tech created that email alert for the Barstool Store deserves a raise. Incredible. 

So Happy Anniversary, Dan!

Time may have gone by quickly, but we will always have our memories. It feels like yesterday.

PS – I’m kind of sad Deadspin is big dead because I’m low key offended there was never a hit piece written about me sexually harassing not only Dan, but Brandon Walker’s milk man ass. What’s the point of #HimToo if the blue check mark brigade can’t lose their collective minds about it?

PPS – Let’s see if I can make it an annual thing. Who will be next?? Stay tuned.